Over the past few years, I’ve embarked on a profound journey exploring how trauma is stored in our bodies, as described in “The Body Keeps the Score.” Recently, I began cold water swimming, and I noticed that after each session, my watch would alert me that my heart rate was spiking abnormally. Initially, I dismissed it, but my body was clearly trying to communicate something important.

During a prayer session with a mentor, she prayed over me, asking God to whisper truth into my innermost being. I sensed a blockage within me and immediately began to pray. As I did, my heart rate surged again, and I felt a wave of deliverance wash over me. Afterward, I went for another cold water swim, but upon returning home, I was hit with a severe vertigo attack. It felt like I was drowning in anxiety, spinning out of control. In that moment of distress, I cried out to Jesus and was given a vision: I saw Him standing on the water while I struggled to stay afloat.

In this vision, I also witnessed my six-year-old self drowning, a memory tied to a traumatic experience from my childhood when I nearly drowned. I realized that this six-year-old version of me was stuck in the limbic system, overwhelmed by emotions of anxiety and stress, carrying the belief that I would die. This moment held deep emotional weight, fueling a storm of anger towards my earthly father, who had to care for us during difficult times. This unresolved hurt made it hard for me to trust not only him but also my Heavenly Father.

As I prayed for peace, I felt the storm within me begin to calm, reminiscent of when Jesus commanded the storm in Mark 4:39-41: “He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?’ They were terrified and asked each other, ‘Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!’” His words had the power to immediately silence the storm, and I too began to see the turbulence within me subside. I processed this experience from the limbic system to the prefrontal cortex, finally returning to the heart where Jesus lives. I was reminded of Psalm 51:6, which says, “Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts, and in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.” The truth set me free. I recognized that generational iniquities were trying to pull me back into a cycle of stress, fear, and anxiety. At that moment, my wife, Meg, entered the room and ministered the love of God to me. Through this experience, I found profound forgiveness and deep healing for the wounds in my spirit, allowing me to release the burdens I had carried for far too long.

I bless you all that the truth will set you free from all fears and lies.

Samuel Gerbrand de Beer